Mood: So its early in the morning...late at night i guess you could say. Well ive been thinking alot. I dont really have any problems with myself right now. I have some family ones, but those are for my head, not my online diary. Anyway, i said i had an opifany....and here it is...I will never be able to let go/i will never stop loving ryan. Yes i said love and i mean it. Not on boyfriend level...i dont think...but as a friend, i will always love him no matter what happenes between us, good or bad. there are a few reasons for this, one is i told him about my dad before i told anyone else. Ive known him for like, 3 months. I just feel like i can trust him with my life. Another reason is because i just cant do anything but smile when im around him. I dont know what it is...crazy if ya ask me, but im thinkin it so it must mean something.......I also feel safe when im around him, like nothing can happen to me...I noticed that when we were walking around in the dark at a park in york city. But i dont know....well yes i do know...but....whatever, nevermind...hes got a girlfriend..But when Andy, way back when, had a girl friend i got kinda mad....But with ryan, i just want him to be happy. and if that means being with another girl, go for it. Shes really lucky....

This was a really emo entry.....i might delete it later....

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