Mood: Still in alot of pain

God my head hurts so bad...But i must go to school tomorrow. MUST! i will have so much makeup shit if i dont and then ill fail then ill cry....then ill be dumb..So yay! I was talking to people online, then they got off...so now im lonly. Dad was in a bad mood today. He yelled awhole lot. So i sat in my room and listened to music until he said to turn it off...then i sat alone in my room just thinking..I was thinking how great homecoming will be. And how great my friends are...Thinking about how i hated andy in 7th grade, but now he is one of my best friends. How i can love something one minute then feel so bad about doing it later...How i can long to be with someone, yet never make a move for fear of rejection/what other people will think...How i put others infront of myself when i dont want to...How im not going to do it anymore. For homecoming mom said i cant make my dress and i need to be a lady...I dont want to. Im not going to conform. I want to be different and so i shall. Heh, mom needs to know im not like most girls...a good night for me is moshing and a good ol' water fight. Ah Andy was telling me about how everyone that was in the water fight will be best friends for ever...I really really hope he is right. That group of kids are so awesome. After we threw water on Austin and told him he was in our club..we had to name the club..Pat looked at me and said,'THE INSOMNIACS!'..And what was weird was everyone standing there had been a member of that club we started early one fateful july morning. With those buddy icons...and the late night conversations...Some small thing 2 kids started grew...Into a cult that will have a group sucide if they ever close the chiller (JUST KIDDING!!!!)....I love it. I love being a kid. I dont ever want to grow up. High school is great...I love being able to throw water at eachother and scream and yell and let loose...It is so awesome and i will remember it and tell my kids about it when im older. im out...

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