Mood: Cold/Excited

I still think Justin is mad at me. He incerts little captions of telling me why im retarded for doing the things i do. I dont care. Ill stop doing it if it would make him happy. Tyler and i just got done talking about what would happen if i was dead right now, and its a funny thing to think about. Now we are talking about deat in family members. Andrew wants to kill me on christmas eve. I say to him,"Go for it" He couldnt kill me....Im to quick. haha. Anyway..

I tried to sleep for awhile and i know i did fall asleep. Because i woke up to the image of being stabbed, and sharp pain in my chest. Horrible pain. I thought i was dead..until i woke up and felloff my bed. I dont think ill ever go back to sleep.

Things feel very off. Nothing feels right. I cant let go of anything, why am i so stupid? Its over. Long gone. Let go. Oh well, ill deal with it later.

Just because someone does something life changing does that mean they have changed? They dont seem to have changed right now...but will they?

Is fear avoidable? Is worrying avoidable? Is it nessecary?

Why do i feel this way right now...?

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