Mood: Frustrated.

I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable in my own flesh. I don't like it. I want it to be different. Sometimes I think I'm okay with who I am physically, only to remember that I hate myself.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth...

I kind of want to jab my own eyes out right now. I'm so tired and exhausted, but I can't stop my mind from racing. My chest is tight, and I can't lie down for a second.

I wish I hadn't grown up so fast. I want to have roman candle fights and be stupid. I hate that people think I'm older than I really am. I hate that I'm turning 20 soon and won't be a teenager anymore.

136lbs by 20. I have a goal, and that's good, right? Unrealistic, but I can't feel this way anymore.

In other news, I learned how to fly the roflcopter at work today. I didn't break it once, and had it in the air for a whole 10 minutes without hitting any of the lights. We also doubled plan ((669 / 1394)) and I worked all day. Maybe that means I earned Ryan some overtime so I can be off on Saturday?

lolz zergrush.

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