Mood: In pain.

With the lack of forebarence in my life, aside from the Dad, I have become... modified. My body is becoming art, and I like that alot. I enjoy the pain. It's a bonding expirence with my friends. It's satisfaction. Bloody..Sore.. But wonderful. Releives the stress of changing my life.

I started my back yesterday (Monday). Demon wing, outline. Hurt like hell. Konrad and Dick took turns comforting me with handholding, and such. Today, Dick pierced the next hole in my nose. Weird that I trust him with a needle in my flesh.

It's really tough dealing with the fact that the people who used to be closest to me.. don't even care anymore. Tyler blew me off.. how many times? Alot. Andrew and Kelly.. are gone. I don't even care about what they do at parties or whatever.. It's the fact that they feel like they can't talk about it around me. Oh, not to mention Justin. But fuck him. He was just a self esteeme hook and money drain.

It doesn't matter. I click with Konrad and Dick. Reuben, Dave, Tony, Evan, Amy, Courtney, Moriah, Austin, Kody.. everyone. It's great. They support me. I got drunk the other night...Smashed, actually. It was an accident, I don't know how to drink. But Konrad helped me puke, drove me to his house, picked me up and carried me into his room, and stayed awake until I was okay. They all have my back. I don't need to worry about shit talking and drama. Sure we drink, but it's on occasion. No one is ever drunk. We all sleep in the same room and sweat until someone wakes up and makes breakfast. We chill at Round the Cock all night, and just order coffee. We make fun of huge dudes with no teeth and call them "Terry-dactyls". I love it.

But... I miss.. Last year.

Oh, being single? Weird as fuck. But fun, none the less.

My tatt is itchy. I can't scratch it... HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

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