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~~053109~~
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Mood: Fuck. I just railed my foot into Eric's computer chair. I fucking hate Dustin. He is the biggest waste of breath ever. I wish he'd disappear. I wish he'd get his crazy lying ass out of my life. I don't even care about anything sentimental anymore. I just want him to die. He's fucking stalking me. He continues to lie and make shit up. Not matter how much I avoid his name or anything to do with him, it some how gets brought up. Seriously. We've been broken up for a god damn long time. We didn't even date for 9 fucking months. It was fairly worthless, and I wish I could erase it all. I come home to Eric now, with his mellow persona and caring nature... and don't understand how I've ever been with anyone else. I don't understand why I couldn't have just had him first. Wyatt and I were talking today at breakfast... that if Eric were anyone else, I wouldn't be in this situation. I wouldn't be living in a historic apartment with gorgeous high ceilings downtown. I wouldn't be piling away money for when he goes to school. I wouldn't be as calm as I have been. I just.. wouldn't be happy. We don't have real fights, just stern conversations. I don't ever have to worry about where he is. I have no reason to not trust him, because he would never lie to me. And I most certainly wouldn't ever have to worry about him not having rent money. I just.... hate people. Liars. Cheats. Worthless. Gogol Bordello/Man Man - 6/4
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